Spirit.

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Today I was so impacted by Brian Houston's message, that I really really want to share it with you.
Wow on so many levels, it spoke to me.
Pastor Brian was saying about having a spirit that isn't affected by anyone else. That isn't affected by someone else.
That is the spirit that I want to have man.
Not a spirit that can be lifted up by someone's compliments and broken down by someone's criticism.
But I've realised that that wasn't what was really happening.
I've been letting my spirit be wavered by the people in my life.
The people whom I respect. I want their compliments, I crave their praise.
I didn't know that it was tearing down my spirit.
When I didn't get the words I wanted, when I thought I was good enough to deserve these praises.
Jesus really tore down that wall of self-righteousness that I never knew existed.
Even after so many years in a grace-based church, I've been trying to earn what is not mine, what I think I deserve in the first place.

And lately, I've also been comparing myself to others.
I didn't realise how much it has killed me inside.
I keep thinking that this person is prettier, smarter than me, more talented than me.
I am not worth anything.
Maybe that's why I didn't get chosen to be this and that.
But Jesus says through Pastor Brian again to stop comparing yourself.
Stop it.
Stop comparing yourself. There's always going to be a person who is smarter than you, friendlier than you, more beautiful than you.
But you are created for your own unique destiny that is so beautiful.
Don't underestimate your own purpose for your life.
Who knows right? You may not be the smartest and yet you land yourself in one of the top jobs and are happy with all that you have.
I think God wants to show me today that I don't have to be pretty for someone to adore me, I don't have to be smart to be the top in school, I don't have to be friendly for people to like me.
I have God with me and that's all that I ever need.
You too, precious one.
He is going to use you, the weak to confound the mighty.
Let Him strengthen your spirit and build it up all over again.
Let Him be your spirit.

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