The apple of His eye.
Hi, I've decided to blog about the Chinese orals. :P
Actually it was really horrible for me, like ten times over.
So much for self-righteousness haha, almost thought that maybe I was good enough for Chinese man.
Turns out I was terribly mistaken.
Like what Pastor Prince shared today, sometimes God allows obstacles to come into our life to bring us to the end of ourselves.
Wow, it really happened to me man.
Totally realised that I am such a failure at Chinese.
The picture was so hard, I don't know what to say for conversation. It was practically the worst oral of my life.
I felt so much disappointment, sadness and all the bad feelings.
Of all orals, I screwed up my A level one.
What in the world! And I started blaming God, why didn't He just speak through me? Wasn't He there with me too?
It was just so painful.
It felt like a rock crashed on me and I didn't even knew that the rock came crashing in the first place.
Unexpected is the word.
It made me feel so horrible and I started condemning myself, which made me feel even worse.
Now, I've come to realise the condemnation of yourself is also a part of self-righteousness.
It's practically thinking that you were good enough for yourself in the first place so now that you do something bad, it is now your fault.
The truth is that we were never good enough to begin with.
All these blessings, be it your family, your grades weren't ours to keep.
Our sinful selves deserve nothing at all. We deserve to die.
But the Lord who was so graceful, merciful, He came and sent His son to die for us.
To rescue us from what we deserved. To save us.
This incident taught me a lot man.
Later, I went for CG.
It was soooo good and the presence of the Lord was so strong.
We had P&W and I just couldn't stop the tears from falling.
The lyrics, "You are my desire, every time I'm weak, I'll run to You." spoke to me so much.
The love of the Lord is so personal.
At that point, I realised how weak I really was and how much I needed God.
But Alena shared that, "He wants to be there more than I want Him to."
That made me realise so much.
That the Lord wants to be with us more than I want Him to be with me.
There was just such a love that came down to envelope me.
And Alena also shared from Psalms that we are the apple of God's eye.
And the apple here in the Hebrew could also mean pupil.
When God opens His eyes, the only person He sees is us.
Wow, that love is just so amazing that it is incomprehensible.
We were so lost, so broken and did so many wrong things and yet He loves us just the same.
How can! But this is reality. It's so real.
On the way home from CG, something in the spirit prompted me to look up and so I did.
To my amazement, there was a lining of cloud encircling the moon.
And the Lord reminded me of what Alena shared that this is what the pupil of His eye meant.
Wow, it's just so amazing. We are that shining cloud that shines light in the darkness.
And that light came from another source, it didn't come from us, but from Jesus Himself, the Son (sun) of God.
It was just so touching how precious I am to Him and how could I see myself in this awful manner when God sees me spotless, beautiful and righteous in His eyes.
How could I even make my own self-righteousness come before His righteousness.
I just felt a deep sense of love as I looked at the moon and knowing that I am His beloved.
There's no one thing that He can't handle for me.
Even my oral is nothing compared to Him.
He can just turn it all around for my good.
:)
I'm feeling so good while typing this and I thought I should just share this as some of you might be going through the same thing that I was going through.
Just let go of your self-righteousness, let go of yourself and let God enter your situation.
Nothing is too big for God.
Just want you to know that you are SO precious to Him and He loves you so much to bear to see you in your current situation.
He will breathe His life into your dead situation and just walk the journey with you.
He will lift you up.
:')
Thank You Lord for reminding me all over again that You so love me. :)
Actually it was really horrible for me, like ten times over.
So much for self-righteousness haha, almost thought that maybe I was good enough for Chinese man.
Turns out I was terribly mistaken.
Like what Pastor Prince shared today, sometimes God allows obstacles to come into our life to bring us to the end of ourselves.
Wow, it really happened to me man.
Totally realised that I am such a failure at Chinese.
The picture was so hard, I don't know what to say for conversation. It was practically the worst oral of my life.
I felt so much disappointment, sadness and all the bad feelings.
Of all orals, I screwed up my A level one.
What in the world! And I started blaming God, why didn't He just speak through me? Wasn't He there with me too?
It was just so painful.
It felt like a rock crashed on me and I didn't even knew that the rock came crashing in the first place.
Unexpected is the word.
It made me feel so horrible and I started condemning myself, which made me feel even worse.
Now, I've come to realise the condemnation of yourself is also a part of self-righteousness.
It's practically thinking that you were good enough for yourself in the first place so now that you do something bad, it is now your fault.
The truth is that we were never good enough to begin with.
All these blessings, be it your family, your grades weren't ours to keep.
Our sinful selves deserve nothing at all. We deserve to die.
But the Lord who was so graceful, merciful, He came and sent His son to die for us.
To rescue us from what we deserved. To save us.
This incident taught me a lot man.
Later, I went for CG.
It was soooo good and the presence of the Lord was so strong.
We had P&W and I just couldn't stop the tears from falling.
The lyrics, "You are my desire, every time I'm weak, I'll run to You." spoke to me so much.
The love of the Lord is so personal.
At that point, I realised how weak I really was and how much I needed God.
But Alena shared that, "He wants to be there more than I want Him to."
That made me realise so much.
That the Lord wants to be with us more than I want Him to be with me.
There was just such a love that came down to envelope me.
And Alena also shared from Psalms that we are the apple of God's eye.
And the apple here in the Hebrew could also mean pupil.
When God opens His eyes, the only person He sees is us.
Wow, that love is just so amazing that it is incomprehensible.
We were so lost, so broken and did so many wrong things and yet He loves us just the same.
How can! But this is reality. It's so real.
On the way home from CG, something in the spirit prompted me to look up and so I did.
To my amazement, there was a lining of cloud encircling the moon.
And the Lord reminded me of what Alena shared that this is what the pupil of His eye meant.
Wow, it's just so amazing. We are that shining cloud that shines light in the darkness.
And that light came from another source, it didn't come from us, but from Jesus Himself, the Son (sun) of God.
It was just so touching how precious I am to Him and how could I see myself in this awful manner when God sees me spotless, beautiful and righteous in His eyes.
How could I even make my own self-righteousness come before His righteousness.
I just felt a deep sense of love as I looked at the moon and knowing that I am His beloved.
There's no one thing that He can't handle for me.
Even my oral is nothing compared to Him.
He can just turn it all around for my good.
:)
I'm feeling so good while typing this and I thought I should just share this as some of you might be going through the same thing that I was going through.
Just let go of your self-righteousness, let go of yourself and let God enter your situation.
Nothing is too big for God.
Just want you to know that you are SO precious to Him and He loves you so much to bear to see you in your current situation.
He will breathe His life into your dead situation and just walk the journey with you.
He will lift you up.
:')
Thank You Lord for reminding me all over again that You so love me. :)
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